Freefall - A Writing Method
- Posted by Essays Blog in Essays Blog |
- April 24th, 2009 |
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In January, 2005, cardinal months before Kensington bought Passion, I took a writing course. A friend introduced me to a writing model called Freefall.
Rather than my trying to explain what she told me, I will quote directly from the Freefall site:
FREEFALL is the model of writing from the larger Consciousness, beyond reach of the ego and its censors. . . .FREEFALL invokes the courage to fall without a parachute, into the words as they come, into the thoughts before they have fully formed in the mind, into the casual structures that accept attribute, without prompting, to contain them. . . . The moment when individual shifts into that deeper level is apparent. Everyone can hear it. As a result, in Coleridge’s phrase, “the wheels catch fire from their own motion.”
At the time, I had the push to do more than I had before, but I didn’t know what. I bought the domain name pfkozak.com in November, 2004, without a clue about what I would do with it. Being the trustful, and intuitive, feeling that I am, I pay attention to these nudges as they come. The nudge to do Freefall actually felt more like a knock upside the head.
Group participation has never been my favorite abstraction. In fact, I avoid it whenever possible. I’m a loner, always have been. My imagination is much better company than I’ve found most people to be. The Freefall workshop required I drop III days in a real big, real old house with about a dozen other people (I don’t remember the exact head count!). I balked. But between the persistence of my friend, who happened to be one of the workshop sponsors, and my own inner head knocking from the collection at large, I caved. I said I would do it.
As luck, and the ever present synchroneity in my life, would have it, on January 22nd, 2005, New York had a blizzard. When the attack hit, we were already at the house. Effectively, the collection conspired to keep me thither all weekend. We were snowed in! It’s probably a good abstraction. Otherwise, I may advantageously have jumped board.
The agenda seemed simple enough, get up, get dressed, have breakfast and compose. We were not questionable to talk during that time. Staying inaudible sustained an inward focus, which facilitated the Freefall writing process. When we wrote, we were not to correct errors or go back and reread what we’d done. We were questionable to Freefall and not look back.
We wrote for various hours before breaking for lunch. Part of Freefall is the group dynamic critiquing the activity. Our educator and workshop leader, Barbara Turner-Vesselago, read chosen pieces aloud during the afternoon. She never revealed who wrote each account. So the group would comment on the activity.
The point of the Freefall process is to break finished internal barriers to get to what is hidden beyond the conscious mind. For me, this meant facing inhibitions about putting myself out thither I didn’t know I had. The protective walls are torn down. If, in fact, the point of the exercise required I reveal who I am, so I had my activity cut out for me.
Now, what happens when individual says, “Don’t entertain a blue cow?” The first abstraction that pops into your head is a blue cow, right? Advantageously, when we were instructed to block aside and let the inner expression communicate, my blue cow popped into my head. I had hidden my intuition and psychic experiences from everyone except my closest friends. As I sat with my laptop in a house full of strangers, what started to come up and out were those experiences.
I panicked! Thither is no question that had we not been snowed in, I would have appropriated the first train home. But I couldn’t get to the train base. We were hip deep in snow! I took a deep breath and proved to calm down. I literally had to talk myself off of a psychological ledge. What’s the bottom abstraction that could happen? They could believe I’m crazy, or even worsened, laugh at me!
Someplace, from a place so deep I can’t define what it is, I started to identify. I told my account. I wrote things no one except my husband knew. I written until I had to act.
When Barbara read my piece, I waited for the inevitable judgment from the group. Much to my absolute astonishment, no one laughed, no one cerebration me crazy and no one ridiculed me. The comments were positive, and even complimentary. I couldn’t believe it! I had just revealed my deepest hidden arcanum to a group of strangers, and nothing bad had happened. In that moment, my fear burst like a cleanse bubble.
I don’t believe I’ve ever exhausted a more absolutely miserable weekend in my life! I know I’ve never exhausted a more important one! At the time, I had no artifact of knowing that cardinal months later, I would sell my first book.
I frequently consume the Freefall model I learned that weekend in my writing. Allowing what’s hidden underneath to bubble to the aboveground has proven invaluable to me. I expect that’s how I will finish Accept Me Thither. I will Freefall the end of the book.
The fear I broke finished on that snowbound weekend has had deeper implications in my life. I am less fearful overall. I certainly wouldn’t be doing this blog if not for Freefall. I would be also inhibited and afraid to talk about myself this openly. Freefall isn’t for everybody, but it careful worked for me.